Would Ya Have A Utility Bill?

One does not truly exist in Ireland unless one has a utility bill in his/her name. Without this precious document, it is nigh on impossible to open a bank account, get a mobile phone, register a car, get a driver’s license, and, believe it or not, change your last name at the bank.

At the bank, it went something like this:

Kirsty: I’d like to change my last name on my account. Here is my marriage license and passport in my married name.
Bank: Do you have proof of address?
Kirsty: I don’t want to change my address, only my last name.
Bank: We need proof of address, like a utility bill.
Kirsty: um…

When trying to add me to account:
Me: Here is my passport and letter from the State of Ireland to my address with my immigration card still attached.
Bank: Sorry, that isn’t good enough. Do you have a utility bill?

Banks are a completely different animal here, but I will leave that for another post!

Another fun time was the PPS office (like a ssn for Americans):

1st Visit:
me: I’d like a a pps number.
PPS clerk: Why do you need it?
me: For a health insurance plan. Here is my passport and proof of address.
PPS clerk: Ok. (she takes my passport then looks at me expectantly. I return the expectant look.)
me: um…
PPS clerk: So, do you have proof of why you need it?
me: Um… I need it for health insurance. I don’t have it yet because I need a PPS number to get it.
PPS clerk: Yes, but do you have proof you need it?
me: Proof?
PPS clerk: Yes, like a letter or email from them?

(I said no and left, saying we will return when we get something from the insurance company. Outside in the parking lot, I looked at my old emails and found an email from the insurance company that said I needed a PPS number. AHA! I went back and showed it to the clerk).

PPS clerk: This is grand. I need it printed out and we can start.
me: Can you print it for me?
PPS clerk: No.

2nd Visit:
me: Here is my printed email, proof of address and passport for my PPS.
PPS clerk: You don’t have a stamp in your passport allowing you to stay in the country over 90 days.
me: Um…

3rd Visit:
me: Here is my printed email, proof of address and stamped passport for my PPS application.
PPS Clerk: We don’t issue PPS numbers on Mondays.

(As she said this, both Kirsty and I laughed out loud. She was puzzled by our laughing and after I said this was our third time here, she waddled back to the back to double-check, but it was not to be).

PPS Clerk: Sorry, we don’t issue PPS numbers on Mondays as there isn’t anyone here who can do it. I can set you up with an appointment tomorrow.
me: That’s grand, earliest one please.

(We both look at her calendar, which is blank for the next day).

PPS Clerk: 11:30?

(Things must move slowly in the PPS office in the morning).

me: That’s grand!

And so it goes…